Catching Up

 April 9, 2024

Wow, where to begin... since my last accountability on my blog so many more things have happen that I failed to include in this journey of my life. I will try and make an attempt today to catch up on me and what has happened since January 16, 2024. 

First, I would like to thank God for allowing me to the opportunity to turn a year older. I think I have done well even with the weight loss and I'm pressing forward. I'm still doing what I need to do in order to make things possible. I'm still doing my insulin resistance but I can tell when the cheaper version of my medication wears off because now I'm hungry and the cravings are picking up and I'm having a hard time getting them under control. I literally bumped myself up by half of another injection in order to turn off the noise in February and I don't recommend unless consult with your doctor but I did and it worked for me. Now in April I decided to act right and the food noise is back and I feel as if I'm loosing the battle. I will see my doctor soon and hopefully I will be back on track. 

I would also like to add that in February I had a horrible sick spell wear I found out that I have GERD. I have to eat right and there is no way from getting around it and I don't ever want to feel that way ever again. I could literally feel the acid in my throat and it burned so badly. I guess that is why I didn't record  anything because I was so sick and I had to get myself together and that meant to change my way of eating all over again. I'm not sure if I'm doing it but a lot has changed. I fall off this wagon recently daily now that we are in April and I have to pull it together by May 14. 

At the current moment my eating habits include all high protein such as seafood, bacon, ham, oatmeal with fruit and raisins and last but not least collard greens. I am praying for light foods due to the GERD that makes me realize very quickly I have eaten the wrong thing. I have been craving sodas and everyone should know that they are truly bad for you but even though I have been doing coke and dr. pepper zero's I have found myself drinking cherry dr. pepper and it hasn't been a zero although they do make them. 

I also have found myself craving sweets such as cakes, and donuts mostly. I think when I started craving bread mainly biscuits from a particular establishment compliments of my husband I feel things going backwards and the food noise was initiated. 

I have to get the cholesterol down and keep my A1C also down and back to normal but it is going to take a lot of dedication and sacrifice if I'm going to make my deadline for graduation. 

I'm back to keep my record to help me hold myself accountable for my choices. I don't want to be a statistic so I will keep doing what I need to be doing to keep me from that fate. 

I would like to see all of my grand children and great-grand children in the future and I believe that I will be in good health, prosperous as I continue on this journey. 

I will continue and tell you about what else I have experience because it has been a life changing experience to me. 

I will tell you all about it in the next journal report of the winning life.                                                                                                                      

Many More

Today (9), Nine Years ago, I joined ...

My life was so different back then and was so unstable, and I needed someone to hold me accountable for the choices I was making.  

Don't get it twisted; I was working on me even back then. I was looking for someone who was whole and complete, not knowing that life is not always that way. 

I can't believe that on this day nine years ago, you decided to make me your wife, knowing I wasn't perfect. I had and continue to have many flaws, but I strive to make a difference in my everyday journey. 

I know you are not perfect, but you are so special to me, and I couldn't do this life without you!  

I only have a little to say in this post cause there is much more I could tell, but it would take more time than what I have today. 

Here's to Life...

 

Here's to Love...

Family 2024

 Family

Today is January 9, 2024

 I can't believe that we are already close to double digits this month. January has always been extra special to me because it is my birth month, not just for me but for all of my immediate family members. 

My father leads us off as if he should, then I'm next, my mother, and last but not least, my identical twin brothers. This mixture of the family has always made me feel as if we have a connection that is and has been identified in my life as extraordinary and special because I believe in my heart that we have a connection that is closer than many because God saw fit for us to all share this month as a true celebration of life, love, and happiness. 

If someone reading this thinks I wouldn't talk about the ups and downs and the great moments in life that we have shared and think it is all peaches and cream, then you are sadly mistaken, but through it all, we are blessed to be close and strong as a family. 

Many families don't have what we have, and I thank the Lord. God has seen us through many of those trials, and it didn't destroy us as a family. 

I pray a special blessing over our family today with the words of one of my favorite scriptures. 

Numbers 6:24-26 NKJV 

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; 

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace."

Happy Birthday, Family, 

I love each of you and wish nothing but the absolute best for each of you!!

Having Hope While Letting Go!!!

It is always hard to just let it go, especially when it is someone you love. 

One of my cousins has pinned the phrase best, "My first tears of 2024!" I must admit, I didn't see this one coming at all. 

When I saw you last, I was leaving to come back home from Thanksgiving at Mom's, and I stopped over as I would often do, not knowing why the urge that came over was so different than other times. 

Now, know why because you would not make it to see 2024. 

Many memories flood my mind as I remember the many tasks we have done together that bring a big smile to my face. I'll never forget the summer I came over to spend with my grandparents, and why I didn't bring enough clothes. I'm still trying to figure that one out in my head, but that was the year I learned how to sew without a pattern. 

You had some beautiful fabric, and we made several outfits together. I was ever so proud of myself, but to see the big smile on your face when I came out with the finished product, "I knew I had created something worth wearing. I did make some mistakes, but you never once got upset with me; you showed me how to take the seam out and try it again. I loved my little headband that I made, and I thought I was something. I made about 4 outfits with matching headbands. I will never forget that summer and the many other summers that I spent with you. It helped shape the woman I have become in so many ways. It taught me how to help my children, who are adults now, and I pray it will help me be an amazing grandmother one day. 

You and your family have many memories etched in my mind, even all the way back to Dumas. Seeing you at your mom's house, Mama Shirley's, and your brother tossing me up in the air as high as I believed the trees. Big Huge Laughs bellowing out. 

I'm going to miss you. heck, I'm missing you right now, but I realize you are not suffering anymore, and you don't have to worry about what others are thinking concerning your health and weight. You always had the most humorous way of explaining to me what was going on with you, and I'm glad you shared that information with me because you wanted me to be educated on it. It was helpful, and it was taken to the prayer room of my heart. 

I love you then, I love you now, and I will love you forever, Aunt Debra, the mother to many who didn't really understand their mothers. You have been an Amazing Surrogate Mother! 

Rest Well, which I know you are because you believed and were a woman of FAITH & PRAYER! 

Good Bye 2023

How can I sum up 2023 other than Amazing?

I'm grateful for everything that happened in 2023. I have experienced many joys, deep hurts, and pains. 

I have accomplished a lot, all while going through many adversities. I have seen many things that remind me to keep pressing towards my goals and don't stop for anyone. 

I have made many new connections and what I consider friendship for life. I have made many close connections that could have led me astray, but I kept my cool and made sure I remained focused on the main goal. 

I can't believe the reconnection of a family dynamic that I thought was gone, but I always say, "God has a sense of humor, and he laughs at us." 

I'm celebrating all of the friends that I made, even through this blog, and you go with me through my ups and downs. You have always been right here, and I have felt your prayers; I have felt your hurt with me as I went through. 

I must admit that I have been out celebrating 2023 here at the end of the year, and I haven't traveled with my laptop, but let me tell you: You have been on my mind. 

I'm under the weather, I didn't test positive for COVID, but I believe I had a touch of the flu. I will not be out in the air because I have to be back at work when this holiday is over, but just know that I am thinking of you in the new year. 

At my last doctor's appointment, I smiled because I lost an additional four (4) pounds 

Let me say this, to sum up, 2023, 

THANK YOU for the winning life, love, and support. 

With you, I managed to get all of this completed. 

Wow

 Today is the day the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it!!! 

ALL I HAVE ARE EMOTIONS

Life has indeed been lifing. 

I got up and received several text messages saying, " You are gone! 

I'm Screaming inside because I just couldn't believe it was true. 

I didn't want to get up and go to work, but now I just want to stay in bed. 

I made my way to my closet to get the prepared clothes for work together and get ready for work, and before I knew it, tears fell from my face. 

I Screamed and threw my hands up because YOU (God) are the only help I know!!! 

The pain of losing you, a dear friend, is heartbreaking... 

Everyone has to deal with this news, and I am not okay, but I will with time.

Man, I heard the song say this morning, "The Sun is going to Shine if I hold out!" but as I saw the sun as I was coming to work, all I could possibly think about was that I was gloomy and sad.

Today, I must encourage myself in the Word of God

Today, I must keep focused that God is my strength 

Today, I must remind myself that you will always and forever be Loved 

It hurts so bad to lose a Good Friend 

I have made some new friends, but I have lost a Celebrity 

Everyone in our circle and out of our circle knows your name... 

As I close, let me be comforted in knowing that God knows your name, and now you are with him along with your mom, dad, and brother that you took care of. 

This part of the country in Arkansas will never be the same... 

I will keep you posted on final arrangements, I can only imagine the people who will be in attendance. 

Lord, help everyone understand and take comfort in knowing the legacy he leaves behind is a work well done. 

Help us Lord, I will have tears all day... this hurts so bad

It's Never Easy

I'll be seeing you in all of the familiar places... 

It's never easy Saying, "See you later!"... 

I haven't said anything because it is still so fresh. The moment in November, I was called, and they told me you were gone. I mustered up the courage and kept going to my mom's for Thanksgiving. The phone calls that I had to make while driving were tough, and the tears came down my face just knowing you were not here with us anymore. 

I was reminded of your words, which you would sometimes tell me, "Death was Sweet!" 

2 Corinthians 2:15-17 The Passion Translation TPT

We have become the unmistakable aroma of the victory of the Anointed One to God —a perfume of life to those being saved and the odor of death to those who are perishing. The unbelievers smell a deadly stench that leads to death, but believers smell the life-giving aroma that leads to abundant life. And who of us can rise to this challenge? Unlike so many, we are not peddlers of God’s Word who water down the message. We are those sent from God with pure motives who speak in the sight of God from our union with Christ.

I understood it more in the days to come, and you wanted to remind me it was well with your soul when God called for you. You would be ready, and I'm comforted because you made your calling sure. 

I miss our phone calls and will miss Christmas and all other special holidays. I will miss You checking me out on social media. I will miss you calling after seeing something I would have posted either something about the church or the children (grown folk), and you would have asked about them. 

Now all of our special moments are full and filled with precious memories. 

It's Never Easy, 

but with the 

STRENGTH OF GOD 

WE WILL MAKE IT...

 

Happy Sunday

 Happy Sunday Everyone, 

Some people say it is the best day of the week for them, but truthfully, every day is a good day of the week. I like the fellowship with others throughout the week. When I get to church on Sundays, it is an added plus to see those I haven't been able to see since last week.  

I have been thinking about my mother lately, and I have decided since I know she has hinted she wanted a particular brand of purse, and since I have one that I'm not really crazy about, she can have it. I continued brainstorming, concluding that I could keep my bag (lol). I also realize that she can have it because I have something else that is coming that I really want, and furthermore, I know she will not ever purchase one for herself, so let me send her some love for the holiday. Although I know she isn't getting me anything, it is not really about her, but she is welcome to it! 

The service was good; one of our new associate ministers will be bringing his Genesis message next Sunday at 3 o'clock, and we couldn't be more proud of him. I know that our pastor's wife is excited because it is her youngest brother, and he has been through so much because he is also a Veteran and has fought for the United States.  I'm sure he has a Word from Heaven next week, and I'm anticipating something Good! 

I began this morning thinking that I was going to wear what I wore for Thanksgiving to church, but when I began to put my pants on, I realized that they were not what I wore. The style was totally different (smiling). I put my shirt on and realized that it was not what I wore for Thanksgiving either (laughing). The hairstyle that I wore today is not the same as what I wore for Thanksgiving (lmbo). 

I was laughing at myself, and it ended up being something

I put it together. 

I'm usually cold in church, but today, I was warm because I selected the right combination, and I think it turned out alright. 

I must give photo credit to the hubby; thank you!!! 

I will close by letting you know that I love watching Sunday Night Football...

Enjoy the Rest of your Sunday... 

The Winning Life that Continues to Win in Every Aspect of Life!!! 

 

Saturday Reflection

 Saturday Reflection 

Today, we went to our favorite brunch hangout and had a delicious meal... 

We were finished, and we met another older couple that doesn't really know us but by association through family. Although they personally haven't done anything against us like some others have in the past, I found myself feeling like we needed to leave before we had to say anything to them, but with her warm and bubbly self, she made eye contact with the husband and began to smile. I returned a warm smile and replied, "Merry Christmas!" 

After coming home, I was reminded that she wasn't like some others in the church who take a rock and hide their hands or play on people's emotions to get what they want out of people.  We've encountered them in the past, and she truly meant to do good for others. I'm not saying I would like to be like her, but I would like for others to think of me as a beautiful person who tries to treat everyone like they are someone, and it doesn't matter where you see her. She is always the same. 

Once we were home, I received a phone call from a woman of God who had been trying to send me a message all week, but when she pressed send, it would reject the message she was trying to send. She took it upon herself with holy boldness to call me instead of trying to send it again. I received the message from the Holy Spirit because it was confirmation. I was thinking about playing my keyboard because I don't play like others who have been playing all their lives, I play well enough to keep the service going, and anything else is a bonus. I stopped playing when my brothers took over the piano, and my parents couldn't afford to keep paying for me to receive lessons, but I refused to give up. I must admit, with all the recent denials on the job, I felt this was another thing I needed to give up. After I got the call today, I'm comforted; I'm encouraged to keep going strong in the face of those who don't want to see me succeed. 

I'm not giving up on school, so I'm not giving up on this mission, either. 

I believe God has something in store for me, and I just have to keep the faith and walk it out with Him! 

I was made for this, and I will make it

The Winning Life that Continues to Win!!! 

Holiday Ready

Holiday Ready

Today, December 8, 2023, I will try to type my feelings out for you every day, regardless of what is happening and how I feel. This is better than social media; whoever reads this will find some humor, joy, bitterness, and genuine love...

I woke up excited because I managed to get 2 of my children on my day off, and we were going to have some fun. Instantly, with them riding in the car with me, I felt comfortable going across the lake, which I don't like, but today, I even came across it. I'm getting comfortable with my surroundings, conquering my fears, and taking charge of my life. 

We went into a shopping center/big box store, and a young lady, who is friends to their father's side of the family, saw us, and she made the statement, "He favored his father!"  We all smiled, and then they discovered the connection was close. We continued shopping and were stopped by the most joyful Jewish lady, 83 years old. My children were not taught to be mean or rude, so they allowed her to talk to them, and she made them laugh. Although I was looking for a bathroom, I didn't want to leave them with her, although they were adults. I knew it wouldn't take too much longer, and everyone would go to their respective places. We have had a wonderful day, and I hope this will be a day they cherish with great memories. 

I had yet to talk about my doctor's appointment and my new upgrade for an upcoming event. I hadn't had a bowel movement, and I noticed I was bloated. My doctor was concerned, but she listened to my belly and could tell my intestines were moving. I also told her I had been drinking less water than usual. I was right because today made up for yesterday. I am ready to get to my weight loss goal, but I'm only like this because I'm so close. I shouldn't be this way because I have come a long way, but nevertheless, it is easier said than done. 

Today, I upgraded my Christmas gift for myself to ensure my 11 o'clock does not show up more than they were showing...  I was cute too!!! 

You don't see it.... 

 Botox today...

No More Budda....

This is one of the best Christmas Gifts I could have given myself, but I couldn't have done it without my best supporter ... My husband!!! 

Be Good to One Another... 

Here's to the Winning Life that Continues to Win!!! 

Why

 Why...

Many people test the waters and don't understand that they are treading hard on your emotions. 

I don't know WHY I even keep allowing myself to be that person to allow people to step on those feelings.

I'm unsure WHY I don't stand up for myself and be like others who keep their positions due to them speaking out about injustice. 

I don't know WHY, even at this stage in my life. 

WHY am I repeating this cycle? 

I remember when I would call your hand concerning the mistreatment that I felt when you did anything to me, but nowadays, I allow it to continue and move around. 

Many would call it growth. 

Many call it being an adult. 

I think I'm selling out...

Things will change once I have completed the journey I'm working on. 

Many times in life, WE conform to how things are transpiring in our lives, whether it is good or bad. 

My Father would say, "When you have your head in the lion's mouth, just pat its head until you can get out!"

This is me in my current moment, and eventually, I will be out... 

I will win this journey ... 

I will not quit!